Pai Gow Triathlon

When I was in my mid-20s, I hung around casinos a lot. I would sit and play Pai Gow Poker, and my friends would lose tons on the riskier tables and get us comp'd dinners. I ate a lot of free casino food. Frequently, in Pai Gow, you will get a hand that is referred to as a Pai Gow - Basically you got dealt nothing, and will most likely lose. However, if the dealer also has a Pai Gow, it is a push, and you don't lose. In these cases, we always would say 'ahhh, a push is a win, a push is a win'.

When I saw the 'chop' out on Lake Chelan, I knew I had been dealt a Pai Gow. And so, I threw out all of my goals with the thought 'today, a push is a win'.

All day Saturday, I had jumped in Lake Entiat and puttered and splashed around. I had very little anxiety at that point about the swim. The wetsuit that Beth had loaned me is a complete dream, and I so want to buy one. Saturday night, I had tried to go to bed early and get a good nights sleep, but I was sharing the room with a 2 year old with a head cold. Thus, next to no sleep.

I did manage to get up and get to the Transition super early like I wanted, and had plenty of time to sit, try to find my zen, visualize, whatever. However, the 800 lb gorilla in the park, which I couldn't avoid, was the lake conditions. I had heard that it had been really choppy the day before, but we had hoped for a nicer condition. I had mentally prepped for the wetsuit, the distance, the method to my swimming, how to keep myself from panicking, how proud I would be when I didn't meet the kayak dude, but I didnt plan for 2 foot swells (this is what they felt like, anyways). I ran into a bunch of TNM folks in transition, and they had all noticed the lake also, of course. And they seemed nervous too. We put on our wetsuits and jumped in to get a feel for it, and I took 3 strokes and stopped after getting 3 mouthfuls of water. Beth took a couple test strokes and declared herself done too. So we went back and all stood in silence. I seriously considered not doing it. The water was terrifying to me. The ladies all started making jokes about how if we drowned, the surf would wash us in, and how with this race, not finishing the swim would be JUST FINE.

So, they counted us down, and off we went. I got to the very back of the swimmers, and let them go. I slowly got in at my own pace. It became very clear, very quickly, that I would be breast stroking this race. Sighting was irrelevant, you literally couldnt see over the swells. As you went over one, you could see ahead, when you went down again, nothing but water. My legs almost immediately felt the difference in swim techniqe, and my bad knee was twisting just a bit. I took up a strategy of just focusing on the next yellow bouy. The wave behind me passed me as I made the first turn, but I just kept concentrating on the next one. Pretty soon I was halfway done. Towards the end, I noticed more people starting to panic and lose steam. Since I was so slow anyway, I tried to calm them down, remind them that even if they just calm down and float, the current will carry them to finish. I hope I helped at least one of them - myself, I oddly had no panic what-so-ever. Finally, towards the end, I got 2 or 3 mouthfuls of water right in a row, and I had to grab a boat for about 10 seconds to catch my bearings. From then in, it was easier, and I actually got some freestyle in in the end.

The minute I stepped out of the water, I knew the race would get no better for me. My legs were G-O-N-E gone. I walked into transition, but did have my bearings enough to take off my swimcap, goggles and strip my wetsuit down to my waist (win over last time!!).

I took my bike and staggered up to the mounting area, and got going. Almost immediately, there was a minor hill, and then it was downhill for a while - but it was downhill into the same wind that was causing the lake chop. So, I didnt get as much speed as I wanted. The bike was uneventful - I didn't get as much speed as I wanted on the downhills and flats, and struggled with anything resembling an incline. A funny note - Beth saw me two times (she was WAY ahead of me, good job Beth!!), and she cheered 'Go Anna - errr - KIM!' both times. And then, both times, I did this pained cackle that was meant to be a laugh.

Coming in from bike, I felt a little better. Good news - I remembered to take off my helmet and my gloves this time! I also remembered to take a Agave #9 (Love me som Agave #9) and I packed up my back pockets with some calories and grabbed a water bottle, because I knew I would need more than the aid stations had. It was getting mighty toasty out there. I tried to be excited and run, but it was excruciating. I run poorly to begin with, a slight bit more poorly off the bike, but today, I had nothing. So, I walked and finished my chocolate goodness. I jogged a bit to the hill out of the park, and at the top, I saw Sarah with a camera. I joked that I needed to pretend that I had ran the hill and jogged a bit. (Thank you to Sarah for cheering there, it really helped)I started jogging down the hill. My shins started bothering me. I would jog what I could and then walk, and had no real shame in it. I just kept going. At some point I saw Beth and told her I was not Anna, haha, and kept going. I got to the turnaround and kept going. At some point, I had no control over my body, except to keep breathing, and make my feet move. It didn't hurt to run anymore, so I kept up the jog. About a mile from the finish, I started getting chills. I knew I wasn't dehydrated, and it wasn't heat exhaustion (I have had that before, I know it wasn't that) and during one of those periods of the chills I think I may have peed my pants a little, but it was strange, I didnt have to use the rest room. Seriously, I have heard of these things happening in longer distance races, but a Sprint? Please. (Hey, what can I say? Triathlon is not all pretty people and glory, folks, some of it is pretty much TMI.)

I got up the last hill and I think that I finished strong. My gait was what I wish it would be all the time when I ran. Alas, I only pulled it out for a sprint at the end.

The post race recap that I got from the other folks was as follows:
1) the two folks that had raced before agreed that our chop was way worse than theirs the day before, but didnt want to freak us out, so they didnt say so.
2) At least one person had been puking in the run as they came in (honestly, in a sprint??)
3) There was a constant stream of people being brought in from the swim on jet skis, because so many swimmers just couldn't make it.
4) The glorious Beth may have shared in my bladder control issues.
5) All of the TNM gals had finished, and generally with good results!